This Child of Mine...

And the child grew, and waxed strong in Spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him.  Luke 2:40

So as my oldest child, my only son leaves for college this week I contemplate, I reminisce, and I wonder.  I contemplate if I did everything I should have done as a parent.  Have I told him everything he needs to know to survive in this crazy world?  Have I prepared him to be independent?  I reminisce about those special moments together…the ones that were happy, the ones that were sad, the ones that involved anger, the ones that brought fear, the ones that brought joy, the ones of disappointment…the ones that made us all grow together as a family and also made him who he is.  I wonder what he will become.  I wonder who he will marry and where life will lead him.  I wonder if he will live far or near.  I wonder if he will always come home and lay his head on my shoulder late at night while we watch a movie together.

As my mind swarms with all this thinking I find my God whispering to me “you did the best you could possibly do with the knowledge that you had at each moment in his life, but the best thing you did, the most important thing you did in the life of your son was to tell him about my Son.” 

So with that my heart has found comfort, my mind has found peace, I thank my God for this child of mine and the rest of this is just for you Brett….

Where did the time go, it seems I was just getting you dressed for your kindergarten graduation and now I find that your school days are complete.  Words could never possibly express the joy, the pride, and the love that I am feeling.  Although I am a bit sad, it doesn’t compare to the excitement that I have for you as you take the next journey in your life. 

I remember being so worried about you starting school because you were so shy and I prayed every day that your speech impairment would not hinder you.  I also prayed for good friends that would love you as I did.  Now I see that nothing can hold you back, and you were not only blessed with unbelievably great friends, you have been a good friend to so many as well! 

It was obvious early on that you have a love and gift for sports, but especially basketball!  I remember when you were around ten and we were sitting together on the deck and you told me that you wanted to try and play basketball in college and I told you to work hard, trust God, and you never know what could happen.  And you did it!  I know that basketball is not everything, but it has always been such a big part of your life.  I have been able to see you grow, develop, and display Godly character while on the court and off the court.  You truly have a gift and I know that you will use it for His purpose, just allow him to guide you!

You have always amazed me with your love for others.  I can honestly say I have never known someone as selfless and kind-hearted as you.  You make me want to be a better person everyday!  You are real, you are true, and you are genuine…characteristics that most of us strive for each day come so naturally for you.

I just thought I loved you when you were born, but that love has only grown stronger with time.  You are so special and I am honored, humbled, and a bit overwhelmed that God chose me to be your mother, something I will never stop thanking Him for.  You know as parents we are the ones that should be teaching our children how to live, but so many times I have found myself thinking of something you have done or said to guide me.  I have not always been perfect, but I have always done my best to tell you about the importance of living a life of Christ, but it is you that has shown me how to truly live for Him.  You are definitely a man of few words…a gently giant, but your actions have always spoke volumes and I know they will continue to do so.

I love you more than words can say and I am so proud of you that my heart hurts…in a good way!  As you take this next step in life always know that I am praying for you, but more importantly always know that God is leading you and He will never leave you!

And with this, I thank you God for letting me know that while my roll in Brett’s life is important, it doesn’t compare to your roll in his life and that I should always trust that you can and will take care of him whether he is near or far; and while I may be the one that gave birth to him, you are the one that gives him life!