Happy Birthday Brett!

So today my son Brett turned 16---I remember when he was little and everyone would say enjoy every minute it goes by fast, he will be grown before you know it.  I would smile and nod, but I never really thought too much about it, but now I see it with my own eyes, I have experienced it with my own heart.  Every moment is truly a gift and we are to cherish them as such.  I think sometimes that there are so many things that I would do differently if I could go back, but then I think again because although there is some things that I could improve on I certainly wouldn’t change the person that Brett has become.  I never have to wonder about the person that Brett will turn out to be, because he is that person already.  It seems he has always been that person.  He has always, always been the most kind-hearted person that I have ever known.  He has taught me so much about who I am and the person that I want to be.  He is honest and sincere, and honestly doesn’t care what the world thinks---he never has and I hope he never will.  I will never forget one time when there was some questionable language and actions from some other students at school and I was asking Brett about it.  He said, ‘mom, I would rather not say those things in front of you, it just doesn’t feel right to repeat some things in front of your mother’.  I never pushed it further; I just thanked him for having such respect for me because I know that the respect will carry over to the girls that he will date and eventually the woman that he marries.

I have always tried to be a good mother to my children, but very often I find myself in awe of my children and how truly good they are.  I know that the goodness they have inside can only come from one thing and that is the goodness of Jesus Christ.  They truly love the Lord and trust him with everything that they have.  It seems that we feel such a burden to be a good parent, to make sure we teach our children the way they should go, to ensure that they turn out to be good, productive people, but all the while God is using them to show us the way we should go, to teach us how to be good, productive Christians.

Just as I will never be a perfect person, I will never be a perfect parent, but when I turn it over to God, when I seek Him for guidance over me and my children He will work everything out for the good.  Brett has turned out to be such an incredible young man, but I can truly say that it is because of the grace of God that he is the person he is.

Brett, I love you more than you will ever know---but even that love doesn’t compare to the love that our Savior, Jesus Christ has for you.  I will never be the perfect parent, I will make mistakes, and I will even fail you at times, but always, always remember that there is someone who is the perfect parent, that will never make mistakes and that will never, ever fail you and that is Jesus Christ.  Brett, hold on to Jesus with everything you have and He will take you to places that you can never even dream of. 

Happy 16^th Birthday Brett!!! Love you, Mom

Trust God and Doubt Nothing!

Well here I go again, not sticking to the plan---like writing about Genesis 2 tonight, and although I read it I have to write something else.  That something else has been on my mind all day and I just have to share my thoughts with you all.

I know I have posted some things about my brother, but today I have been completely overwhelmed with what a powerful miracle God has performed in his life and so with mine as well.  His prognosis was not great to say the least, but I can’t go into detail about it because I never asked about it---I just didn’t want to know what the doctors were saying, mainly because I didn’t want those thoughts getting in the way of the promise that God had given me.  You see from the very beginning I had an overwhelming feeling that he would be alright.  Now I am certainly not saying that I wasn’t scared or should I say terrified when his survival was questionable, but it was like my body was telling me one thing, but my spirit was saying something else.  While I was physically ill, I still felt a sense of peace that was unexplainable.  As difficult as this was, as scared as I was, I felt closer to God during all this than at any other moment in my life.  Each day was a new challenge, but I can clearly remember the most difficult day for me.  My family had been on an emotional roller coaster ride for days, but this day was different.  I clearly remember waking up with an overwhelmingly strange feeling and so I immediately started to pray.  As I prayed I again became overwhelmed with a sense of desperation, so I continually prayed, but today I could never find that sense of peace.  I began trying to call the rest of my family who were at the hospital with Eddie, but I never could get an answer.  I continued praying, now even more desperately and then God spoke to me… ‘will you trust me no matter what?”.  I kept on hearing it over and over… ‘will you trust me no matter what?’.  At first I thought that it meant Eddie may not survive, and I kept on questioning God about his promise of healing and then I finally surrendered and said ‘Lord I don’t want you to take him, but if you do I promise I will trust you no matter what’.  Then I received the phone call, Eddie will probably survive, but there is lots of brain damage.  This was my lowest point…I collapsed into my husband’s arms and begged God to take this all away, I just wanted for all this to stop and have my family back.  I cried out to God and said, ‘I don’t know what else to do, I don’t know how else to pray, and what else God do you want me to do?’  At this point my husband took me by the shoulders and said “you are not going to do this.  This is when we have to depend on God because if we don’t trust him now, at this very moment than why do we believe in him, why do we go to church, why do we pray?  You have always told me to trust in God, so if we are not going to trust him now than there is no use in doing all the things that we have always done, forget praying, forget church, forget God---you can’t trust him with some things, you have to give him everything, you have to put every ounce of trust in him.”  This shook me back into reality and I once again found myself on my knees and digging into his word.  I was physically ill for the rest of the day, but my spirit was growing stronger than my flesh.  All this came to my mind today as I was driving home from spending the day with my brother.  He was walking with a walker today, talking up a storm, and cutting jokes with everyone.  What a miracle!  It is so hard to believe that just a month ago he was not talking, not walking, not sitting up on his own, and not eating regular food.  And I did it again, I said something that within our family we decided not to do, we decided that we were going to stop saying we can’t believe anymore.  How can we say ‘we can’t believe’ something that we have been asking God to do.  If we believe that there is nothing impossible with God, than we can doubt nothing!!!! 

In His Image

So I have had so much going on, both physically and spiritually lately that I haven’t written much at all and like always I have missed it tremendously.  No need to go into details except to say that God has been so good to me and continues to bless me beyond anything that I will ever deserve!  Although I began this blog in the New Testament and felt like I needed to continue there until completed, I now feel God leading me into the Old Testament.  For the last few weeks God has been telling me over and again that in order to know where we are going we have to know where we came from, and then last week I began reading The Harbinger by Jonathan Cahn, a powerful book about the connection between the prophesy of Isaiah 9 and America.  Interesting thing, I did not find this book on my own, I was never seeking out a book like this at all, but I was told that I needed to read it by a couple of friends and I kept on saying that I would, but never got it.  Then it was lying on a friend’s desk and when I asked him about it he said for me to take it on with me and read it, so I did.  Wow, what God was telling me and what this book revealed was no coincidence.  I don’t want to reveal too much about the book, but I do want to encourage everyone to read it.  Although it focuses on America, it is also about preparing yourself for the time of judgment and reveals so many instances where God is calling His people back to Him.  I deeply encourage each one of you to read it as soon as you can---it is that powerful!

 So here we go, all the way back to the beginning!

Genesis 1

God spoke and it happened!  The beginning of the true ‘Word of God’ and how powerful is that Word.  I continue to be amazed at our God and who he truly is, he is the only true God---he is it---the creator of the universe!  Everything, including man, was formed by him, and how he loved us to create us in his own image.  Now I do have a question about that, you know creating us in his image.  Look at verse 26, now read it again.  Did you catch something?  ‘Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness…’.  Us? Our? Who is God talking to? Who is he referring to when he says ‘let us’ or ‘our image’?  Well I have no idea, unless it is his angels---that is all I can think of, but like I have said before I am no theologian, I am just a person who loves God and strives to grow closer to him through his Word.  And while there are many things that I don’t understand, many things that I don’t know the answer to, the thing I do know is that God is God and his love for us is greater than anything that we will ever comprehend.  We will never, ever understand everything about Him or His Word, but all that does not change the fact that he is God, will always be God and will always, always be in control of this world.  So as I read through the very beginning of creation I am consumed with the thought that he really does know everything about everything, he really does know how many hairs are on my head, he really does know the desires of my heart, he really does know how much I desire to serve him even when I mess up, he knows all these things because he not only created the universe, he created me and he created me in his image with love.

Thank You My Lord!

As I woke to this day I began by thanking God for the many, many blessings in my life.  I am now over 40 and feel more alive today than at any point in my life.

Today as I turn 41 I thank you my Lord for blessing me beyond anything I could have ever dreamt of.  I thank you for the grandparents and parents that I was born to.  While they are not perfect, they, each and every one, taught me about you---they never wavered in the belief that Jesus is the Son of God, our Lord and Savior.  They taught me to trust in you no matter what life sends your way.  They have shown me that during times of peril that we are to always, always turn our faces to you and fall upon our knees. 

Thank you for the husband that you joined me with.  He is truly my soul mate and loves me more than I deserve.  We are not only growing old together, we are growing in God together, which is greater than anything else we could ever do together.  Thank you my Lord for my wonderful, wonderful children.  They love me, but they love you even more and for that I am eternally grateful.  These two precious people have blessed me from the very moment that I met them and each day with them gets better and better. 

I stand in awe of my life, not because of the things that I possess, but because of the love that I feel from all those in my life.   And through that love I can sense your presence in every part of my life.  How fortunate am I that I have always known who you are.  How blessed am I that I never had to live a day without knowing your name. 

So as I think about all the blessings that you have bestowed upon my life, I also think about what I am doing in return.  I know that we don’t make it on works alone, but there is no doubt that there is a great work to do and I do want to be a part of that.  My goal is not just to make it to heaven, but to serve you daily, to lead others to you, and to make you smile when you hear my name.  I want to live my life for you because if I have learned anything in my 41 years, it is that living my life for you, following your will, is the greatest thing that I will ever do!

So I thank you once again for everything in my life and I ask you my Father, to be with me and my family, to guide me and direct me, and to lead me in the direction that I should go. In your precious, precious name I ask all these things.