Thank You Father!

Father, you saw me each time I knelt, each time I cried, and each time when I had no more words to say.  You saw me clinching my Bible as I begged for you to speak to me.  You always saw me.  You were there the entire time, you never left my side.  When I became so scared that I didn’t know what to do you held me in your arms. Father, even now when my mind can’t rest I find calmness in your Word.  If you are for me who can be against me? 

You are the God of the universe yet you listen to me.  You are God and have the whole world to watch over yet you saw my tears, you heard my cries, and you chose me to be your child.  You are my Father and I am your child---I am a child of the Most High God.  I am an heir to the throne.  I am humbled beyond words at being your daughter.  I say who am I and you tell me who I am.  You show me daily who I am.  You remind me who I belong to.  You guide my every step.  You hear my every word. You never leave my side.

I have always loved you, but it is so different now.  I never doubted that you perform miracles, but I doubted myself.  You have given me a love that I have never known.  You have lifted my faith to new heights.  You have cleansed and renewed my very soul.

I can now say that I have physically seen the healing hand of God.  I will no longer say ‘I can’t believe this’ when it is what I have been praying for all along.  Why do I say I can’t believe something that God has done?  He is God and there is absolutely no limit when we believe.  God is all powerful and truly blesses us beyond measure.

I find myself in complete awe most of the time about what I have had the privilege of being a part of.  God truly turns everything bad into good for those that love God.

I can never put into words what God has done for me and my family.  I will never be able to thank him enough, but you know what all he wants is for me to live my life for him, and my friend, that is what I am trying to do.  I am not perfect and I will make mistakes, but I will love him, praise him, and serve him all the days of my life.

Thank you my Father for everything that you have done and all that you are going to do.  This life would be no life without you!

What a Gift!

Luke 11:1-13

Well I have to just say that I am a little blown away tonight at how our Father always leads us in the right direction and then shows us bits of confirmation along the way.  When my brother got sick of course I began to pray immediately, but as the days started going by I began to ask God to show me how to pray.  I asked him to please show me what I should to do, what I am to say, to give me the right words---I know the words in the Bible say to come boldly before His throne, I know it also says to be humble, I know it says to ask for what your heart desires, I know it says to take authority over sickness, I know it says by His stripes we are healed, but I desperately wanted to make sure that I was praying in the will of God.  My prayer life changed drastically and it was more than just my brother’s illness, I wanted to be in the right will of God when it came to everything in my life.  So along with talking to Jesus, I read and studied God’s Word, along with other material about praying, healing, and God’s will.  What I kept running into was the involvement of the Holy Spirit.  When the disciples spoke with boldness it was always after they were filled with the Holy Spirit. 

So then when I read these scriptures tonight several things immediately jumped out at me…. ‘teach us to pray’ in verse 1, ‘your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven’ in verse 2, ‘yet because of his persistence’ in verse 8, ‘seek’ in verse 9 and ‘how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!’ in verse 13.  So it is not just me, the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray.  Then when I read the words in verse 2, I remembered where I had read about this scripture and it explaining that his will on earth as it is in heaven means his will in heaven is no sickness, why would he want one of his children to be sick here on earth?  And then there is seeking and persistence, to me that means keeping on, keeping on---seeking the Holy Spirit and being persistent by never letting go of the promises of our Savior including by his stripes we are healed!  But my favorite part comes in verse 13, why did it say he would give us the Holy Spirit and not simply say he would give us what we asked for?  Because when he gives us more and more of the Holy Spirit, when we are filled with the Holy Spirit we are more and more in God’s will, we are closer to Jesus, and we are capable of greater things when the Holy Spirit is leading us.  Want to know God’s will---then seek the Holy Spirit.  I am so excited about this and I am not sure if I can put into words what I feel.  Seeking the Holy Spirit is so, so important----that is where our boldness comes from, that is where healing comes from, that is how we will know how to pray, that is who will guide our every step, our every word!  My entire life I have heard about the trinity, the Father God, the Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit---but I have never experienced the Holy Spirit like I have lately, but then again, I have never sought it like I have been either.  It is truly as Jesus said in Acts 1 when he told his disciples to wait for the gift from his Father---it is truly a gift that we can receive over and over and more intimately and intense each time.

Thank you my Jesus, for loving me and for wanting to fill me with your sweet, sweet guiding Holy Spirit.

Mary or Martha?

Luke 10:38-42

Alright well I am definitely by nature a Martha, but I am learning to be more like a Mary.  All my life I have been the person that has to have everything just right before I do anything extra.  By this I mean that everything would have to be clean and taken care of before I would read, write, or do anything fun.  I remember when my mother gave me this poem about not worrying about all the cleaning while your children were little, but instead spend time with them for that time passes quickly.  I see now, just how wise she is.  I think we get busy with all the daily tasks and forget what is truly important, but here Jesus is showing us what is important.  Time spent with Him is much more important than any housework that doesn’t get done.  Time enjoying your family through interaction and conversation is much more important than having everything in order.  I love when Jesus says that Martha is worried and upset about many things, but that there is only one thing that is needed.  So many times I am guilty about looking on the outside, but I have to look much deeper.  I am sure Martha was very upset with what Mary was doing, she looked at her as not doing anything except spending time with Jesus and that she had to do all the work, but that is not what was really happening.  Martha may have been doing the physical work, but Mary was doing the spiritual work, she was listening to Jesus and drawing closer to her Savior.  Although I still like to have everything clean and in order, I have definitely learned that other things come first.  My God and my family are much more important than a clean house.  After all, how much will my faith deepen or will my spirit grow because my house is spotless and everything is in its right place?  Now I am not saying that one needs to be a slob or nothing ever needs to be cleaned or that food doesn’t need to be prepared, but I am saying we have to keep everything in perspective and realize what is the most important.  If someone draws closer to Jesus or even finds Jesus because of something I did today, but I go to bed with a messy house than I feel that I accomplished my task for the day.  It is truly about one thing and that is Jesus Christ!

And the Greatest is Love!

Luke 10:25-37

So today I am going to do my best to get back on track with my daily Bible reading and blogging, but you all know how I am, I can be off track before you know it.  Funny how we look at it as being off track, but God looks at it as keeping us on the right track! 

So what is the greatest commandment?  It is funny to me how all these ‘high up’ people were always trying to trick Jesus by asking him questions, and yet he always, always turns them around into a lesson that they could neither question nor deny the truth of.  It seems that everything goes back to love and if we love Jesus Christ first and foremost than we should have no trouble loving our neighbors, should we?  Or should I say do we?  Do we have trouble truly loving everyone?  So I know this is hard to believe, but I do have trouble with this.  Even though I know that when I love Jesus with everything that I have in me then I should love everyone else automatically.  Right?   I do want to love like Jesus and I can honestly say there is not one person in this world that I would not try to help if they were in need, but I want to love everyday like Jesus.  Not because I want to be that good, but because I know that when I truly love like Jesus did then people will see Him in me and not me---and that could make the difference in someone’s eternity.  I know that Jesus’ heart must ache each time we don’t show love toward one another, after all, he created us in love and to love.

Through my brother’s sickness my eyes have been opened to things that I never really thought of before.  While he was in the critical care unit, I began to look around at the desperation of the families in the waiting room, including us.  We were all at a point where nothing else mattered except the love that we had for our families and our Savior.  The little things that may have bothered us before never even crossed our minds now, we were desperate for our Father Jesus Christ.  We were calling on Him to please take care of the situation.  We knew we were at a point where there was no other way.  You see I have always known that Jesus is the only way and that he should always be at the forefront of everything in my life, but like so many of us, I would get busy and not focus on Him completely.  And then came this moment where nothing else mattered except reaching my Savior.  This is how it should be at all times; we should be so desperate for Jesus and his love that nothing else is worth anything without it.  For the last few weeks we have been in several different places with my brother, icu waiting rooms, ccu waiting rooms, nicu waiting room, and now a rehab/nursing center.  I have witnessed so many emotions throughout each place---I have seen desperation, sadness, overwhelming grief, loneliness and so much more, but what I also saw was that people are desperate for something more and that something more is the love of Jesus Christ.  When we chose Jesus Christ as our Savior, when we decided to live our lives for Him, then we also chose to show that love to others.  So I ask myself, how do I do this, how do I love like Jesus?  After much prayer, I have decided that I don’t have it in me to love like Jesus, so that is why I have to obey the scriptures and deny myself everyday---I have to ask that Jesus remove anything in me that will hinder me from living for him today and replace those things with the Holy Spirit.  Until we come to the realization that we don’t have it within ourselves to love like Jesus, we will never be able to love like Him.

Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.  Luke 9:23

He must become greater; I must become less.  John 3:30

For those of you who want to keep up with my brother’s progress here is the link to his facebook page.  I try to keep it updated a couple times a week.  Thank you in advance for the continued prayers! http://www.facebook.com/#!/PrayerChainForEddieWhite

God's Promises

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God.  II Corinthians 1:20

Gosh, I really don’t know where to start.  It has been a month since I last wrote and so many things have happened.  My brother was moved to a facility closer to home and is making great improvements daily, and I  cannot say that without giving God all the glory for every single thing that has happened because it is only by his healing hand that my brother is not only alive, but growing stronger every day.  I truly stand in awe of my Lord and Savior.  I have looked back over my writings and realized that all that I thought I knew about Jesus has only become more real and the love that I have for my Father has deepened beyond anything I could ever describe.  I truly feel like he was preparing me for this time my entire life.  As I look back over those difficult days all I can think about is how God sustained each member of my family.  Each day that comes to mind, God was always at the center of it all.  When we became weak, he truly became strong.  His Word was no longer just words, but they were life.  My family has faced and is still facing a battle that we have never known, but my Father has strengthened us and our faith has deepened like never before.  I have been taught my entire life to trust in the Lord, but this trial put those words to the test and I have learned that trusting in the Lord is the only thing we can do---there is nothing else that we can or should put our trust in.

As you know my brother, Eddie, was diagnosed with Eastern Equine Encephilitis and was in a coma for weeks.  There is no treatment for this disease in humans and it is usually fatal.  We were told that if he did survive he may never wake up and if he did that might be all he did.  The prognosis was not good, but our God is and that is where we put our trust.  There were days that were extremely difficult and I have never been more scared in my life, but now when I look back on those days I have to apologize to my God for not completely trusting Him.  I can honestly say that even on the worse days Jesus never left my side and he showed me things, along with others in my family, that I have never known.  Eddie’s progress has amazed all those working with him.  He is now saying some words and even phrases, he is moving his arms and legs, he is eating some food, he is following instructions, giving kisses, and smiling a lot!  With each new thing he does we would say ‘I can’t believe it’, but we have now even been convicted of saying that.  As believers, we should never say we can’t believe something that God does, after all, we have been asking him for complete healing, why wouldn’t we believe that he could and would do that for his children?  So instead of saying I can’t believe it, I will thank my God and stand in awe of who He is and what he is doing for my family.  My family has stand together on the promises of our Lord and Savior and we will never be the same.  I say all this to tell those of you that read this to never let go of the promises in God’s Word, for they are true, they are real, and they are for us…his children! 

As I say this, two very powerful moments come to mind.  The first happened while my family was in the chapel at UAB praying for my brother.  It was at a very critical time and we were all pouring our hearts out to God.  At that moment my mother went to each person in the room and said, ‘children, if one promise in the Bible is true, then they all are, you cannot believe one promise and not believe them all’.  How true is this?  I know her words came from God and this was just the beginning of understanding the true promises that God has given his children.  The next moment came when I was alone praying desperately for my brother’s healing.  I was being really honest with God and begging him to just speak to me, to tell me that Eddie was going to be alright.  I kept on saying ‘God if you will just speak to me and tell me that Eddie will be healed.’ This went on for several minutes until I finally laid my head upon my Bible and cried like I never have before.  Then I heard the voice, God spoke to my heart and said I have told you over and over in my Word.  I knew exactly what he meant, because I have been reading the promise of healing in God’s Word over and over and He was just confirming what my mother had already spoken to us!

God has truly shown me so much through all this, but he most importantly he has shown me the realness of his Word.  He has shown me that we have to ask him for healing and sometimes we just have to hold on to the promise that he gave us with everything we have.  I have learned that healing doesn’t always come instantly, but that doesn’t mean it’s not coming.  I have learned never to settle for anything but perfection from our Lord, for when we settle for anything less we are doubting what our God can do.  I will never let go of the promise of complete restoration and healing for my brother because when I do I am limiting my God and my God has no limits!