My Prayer

Alright, well this is not easy, but for some reason God has been speaking to me about sharing this prayer from my prayer journal. I wrote it last week, but quite honestly I have been putting off posting it until today, when I could no longer ignore the leading of the Holy Spirit.  I know I have shared my thoughts on the Word for a while now, but I want everyone to know that I am not an authority on anything, I am just a common person doing my best to follow Jesus Christ.  I am far from perfect and my life is no different, I have great days, good days, ok days, disappointing days, sad days, and angry days, but all of my days seem to lead me closer to Jesus and isn't that all that matters.  Oh, don't get me wrong I could do a lot better, I could love people more and witness to people more, but everyday I am learning and growing, and I have discovered that His Word is such a powerful tool for my growth in him.  So whether you read what I write or not, please, please read his word, I promise it will change
your life!

Lord, thank you, thank you , thank you for all your many blessings that you bestow upon me and my family.   I know without a doubt that I am blessed beyond measure.   You know it was just a few days ago when I took a stand and said no more to allowing satan to attack and cause chaos, negativeness, and confusion in my life.  And I was doing really, really good with that, so much so that all night and all morning I have been praising you and feeling such a powerful rush that I know only comes from the Holy Spirit.  And I knew, I knew that satan was on the look out for something to trip me up, but I was ready.  Then it happened, just when I thought everything was running smoothly and I had it all together it hit me like a ton of bricks.  Oh, I kept on praising, even when I was falling apart I kept on lifting your name, because if I have learned anything at all over the past few years, I have learned that no matter how I feel---you are there.  Whether things are bad or good, whether I can sense your presence or not---YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE!  So here I am late at night not being able to sleep until I write, write something and know that through these words you will speak sweet peace to my heart. 

You know this all started when I got to work and realized that I left my Bible at home on the table---I kind of got that uneasy feeling, but I told myself that it would be ok.  I already knew my day was full and I would have to be running all day to get everything done.  So when my first meeting of the day started 40 minutes late, I was trying to tell myself that it would still be ok, even when I felt the anxiety start to build and that voice saying ‘you are never going to get everything done today'.  Then it starts…phone calls, emails, people with so many questions/problems that I can’t get one answered before another one comes.  I am trying to take care of each item as they come, but I just can’t keep up.  Then I get to the doctor and it’s the wrong day, really?  Can this not just be easy?  I am trying to hold it together, but I feel it coming.  Then more questions, more stuff, no respect from some people, everything is adding up and adding up quickly---so quickly that I break and I do not like this----I don’t like to loose it.  What am I doing, I have got to slow down just for a minute and pull it together.  My heart is racing, my mind is racing----but no, no I won’t do it.  I won’t let it get me, not this time.  It is but a moment and this is just another moment that makes me desire a better country, a country that is my true home, my heavenly home.  A place free of all this chaos, but more importantly a place where my Savior will be waiting on me.  I may have not handled everything perfectly today, I may have let satan get to me a little, but more importantly I am closer to my Jesus because of today.  He is my friend, my savior, my father, my leader, my guide…..my deliverer!  Jesus I don’t know what tomorrow holds, I don’t know where you will take me, but I know you are there, leading me on and that is all I need to know.  So again I say thank you, thank you for simply loving me unconditionally!