He is Jesus!

Today’s Reading: Matthew 14:22-36

Jesus sent his disciples on ahead of him while he went to pray. Is Jesus pushing you to go on ahead and do something? Even when he is pushing us in the direction that we should go, he never leaves us. Even when we might feel alone, he is always there and I can attest to that. A few years ago I went through a difficult time in my life and I no longer sensed the presence of God in my life. I won’t go into much detail, but it was definitely an attack of Satan and my spirit was very much oppressed during this battle. I so desperately longed to hear that sweet voice of Jesus whisper in my ear, but it never came. I continued to pray and eventually begin to beg God to hold on to me because I was no longer able to hold on to Him. I felt myself slipping away, but I can tell you that God never let go of me. He was right there all along, even when I didn’t feel him there. This was truly a turning point in my life and as I read these scriptures in Matthew it brings back a flood of emotions. I was in the middle of a storm and did not recognize Jesus walking towards me. I took my eyes off of Christ, it was only but for a moment, but that moment changed me. Just like Peter, I was afraid to step out of that boat, the storm that surrounded me seemed too strong, too overpowering, but once I took that first step and heard Jesus say ‘you are going to be ok’---I knew I was. From that moment on I was not who I had been, I just thought I knew God before, since that day he has opened my eyes to things I would have never dreamed. He has set me on a path that I never knew was there. Just like the disciples I begin to worship and praise Jesus when he stepped back into the boat with me.

As I read the last few scriptures of this chapter about the people that brought their sick and begged Jesus to just let them touch the edge of his cloak, I think about desperation. Am I this desperate for Jesus? Does he want me to be desperate for him? I think he does. These people knew without a doubt who he was and what he could do. They were to a point of desperation, they wanted the sick healed and they knew that power that flowed from this man they called Jesus. I think of not only their desperation for a touch, but their faith in what Jesus could do. They didn’t ask him to lay hands on them, they didn’t even ask him to pray for them, they just asked if they could touch the edge of his cloak. Maybe I am not desperate enough, maybe I want too much, maybe I try too hard to discover what Jesus has for me. He is Jesus and I am me---there is no comparison! He knows everything and I know nothing without him. I can’t question when he puts me in the boat and says go ahead. I can’t question whether he is there or not. I can’t not be desperate for him. Sometimes, we simply need to just step out of the boat and as we step out know that he is right there to lead the way. We can not take our eyes off of Jesus, he will lead us in the direction that we are to go. Again, I don’t think I can say this enough----He is who he says he is and he can do what he says he can do----He is Jesus and I am nothing without him!